By Jason Lowe, LPC
The holiday season is officially in full swing. For many of us, Thanksgiving has just wrapped up — and with it often come complex emotions. Maybe the holiday was meaningful and grounding. Maybe it was stressful, confusing, or exhausting. Maybe it brought up unresolved family tensions… or showed you that some old patterns still have a pull.
Whatever Thanksgiving held for you, it’s completely normal if it stirred something in your mind, body, or relationships. And now, as we move toward Christmas and the rest of the holiday season, many of us are already anticipating what these next gatherings may bring — making it a good time to explore coping skills for anxiety that help you stay grounded through it all.
Family dynamics can be complicated — even in warm, loving families. Every household has its own patterns, expectations, quirks, and challenges. Most of us can easily name at least one family member who feels particularly difficult or unpredictable. And if you can’t name one… well, as the joke goes, “it might be you.” 😊
So how do we stay grounded, present, and emotionally regulated during the season ahead?
To keep things simple, here are five words to guide you:
PREPARE • PINPOINT • PAUSE • PROCESS • PROCEED
These steps can help you navigate everything from small irritations to major emotional triggers — especially around the holidays.
Using Coping Skills for Anxiety to Stay Centered
1. PREPARE
Preparation isn’t just about shopping lists, travel plans, or keeping track of who’s bringing dessert.
It’s about anticipating the dynamics you’re likely to encounter — including the relationships, conversations, patterns, or behaviors that tend to bring up stress.
Ask yourself:
- Who or what is likely to be challenging for me?
- What typically triggers me during family gatherings?
- What boundaries or expectations do I need to remind myself of?
Preparation helps you walk in with realistic expectations and a plan.
Be prepared now for the challenges sure to come.
2. PINPOINT
Once you’re actually in the moment — at the dinner table, in the living room, or in the car — pause internally and identify what’s happening inside you.
This may sound like:
- Why do I suddenly feel tense?
- What thought just ran through my head?
- Why am I getting irritated, anxious, or shut down?
- What is my body telling me right now?
The sooner you pinpoint your internal experience, the easier it is to stay grounded and avoid spiraling.
Pinpointing helps us learn from the cues our thoughts, feelings, and body provide.
3. PAUSE
Pausing is one of the hardest — and most powerful — tools you can use.
Your pause may be:
- Excusing yourself to step outside for fresh air
- Taking a moment in the bathroom to breathe or splash cold water on your face
- Silently grounding yourself by slowing your breath
- Reminding yourself of your plan and your boundaries
A pause gives your mind time to catch up with your emotions, helping you respond rather than react.
Pausing helps us respond to challenging moments, not react to them.
4. PROCESS
Processing can happen before, during, or after an event.
It might involve:
- Journaling
- Talking things through with someone you trust
- Naming your thoughts and feelings more clearly
- Challenging your negative self-talk (“What else is true?”)
- Understanding your triggers with more compassion
Processing helps us make meaning of what we’re feeling, rather than getting stuck in it.
Processing can happen in the moment or sometime later. You have the power to choose.
5. PROCEED
After you’ve prepared, pinpointed, paused, and processed, you can move forward intentionally.
Proceeding might involve:
- Using assertive communication (“I don’t like that. Please stop.”)
- Stating a boundary kindly and clearly
- Removing yourself from a situation that feels harmful
- Choosing silence or disengagement over escalation
- Ending a visit early if needed (“I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to head out. I love you and will talk to you soon.”)
This isn’t about perfection — it’s about responding in healthy, grounded ways, even when dynamics are difficult.
Assertive communication shares needs, feelings, and thoughts in an honest, healthy, and helpful way.
As the Holiday Season Continues
Whether Thanksgiving went beautifully, terribly, or somewhere in between, you deserve the chance to enter the rest of the holidays with clarity and compassion.
These gatherings will likely still be imperfect — maybe even challenging — but using the PREPARE → PINPOINT → PAUSE → PROCESS → PROCEED framework as a set of coping skills for anxiety can help you stay centered, grounded, and more connected to your authentic self.
You don’t have to navigate these moments alone.
And you don’t have to repeat the same emotional patterns year after year.
You can choose something new.
And you’re worth that effort — every time.
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